Advocacy versus Accountability

This morning I took part in the Deadly Viper Online Mancave with Mike Foster and Jud Whilhite. Even though I have never met Mike and Jud I totally respect these guys as the real deal. I have followed their website Deadly Viper Character Assassins for the last several years and I have been greatly challenged and blessed by these two godly men. For those who are not familiar with Deadly Viper here is their purpose: Deadly Viper is a movement dedicated to strategic conversations on the issues of living with radical integrity and radical grace. Our focus is to develop leaders and individuals who will have intentional, transparent, and honest conversations about key character issues.

This morning, the topic for the mancave was "Advocacy versus Accountability." (By the way, if you missed it this morning you can catch it tonight at 6 pm PST here). Accountability is the new buzz word these days. We talk about the need for accountability all the time. We need people in our lives to ask us the tough questions. We need people in our lives to challenge our actions when they are out of line. This is all good stuff. We definitely need accountability. The problem is the way we try to achieve it. Most of the time when we talk about accountability we are talking about getting together with a group of people to share and challenge one another. For most, this usually takes place over a breakfast at the local restaurant. The problem is that transparency does not usually happen in these situations. It is hindered for several reasons. First, you are in a very public place where others have the potential of over hearing what you are saying and second, it is very difficult to be transparent in the areas that you need to be transparent about in this type of group setting. So what happens is that we fool ourselves into thinking that we are being held accountable when we really aren't. We may be held in check in some areas of our lives but the bigger struggles are usually left unchecked.

What we need is advocacy. An advocate is a person who speaks in support of something or someone. An advocate has your back. An advocate has your best interests in mind. An advocate speaks the truth in love and will continue to love you even when you mess up. We need at least one friend in our lives who is an advocate. This means that we need to develop this type of relationship. It is not just going to happen. It takes intentionality. It takes work. It takes being willing to risk being vulnerable. And it is also mutual. It takes both sides doing these things for one another. It is in the context of these types of relationships that we can truly challenge one another and cheer one another on. I went many years without these types of relationships and I reaped the consequences of that. Thankfully that is not the case anymore. I am thankful that I have a few friends in my life that are my advocates now. I know that I can go to them and share anything with them and that no matter what they are there for me (and vice versa).

Do you have an advocate in your life? If not, what are you going to do to get one?